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Participle Swarm
Flags sentences with multiple simultaneous "-ing" actions or "as/while" constructions that imply physically impossible concurrent actions.
What It Does
Detects two patterns:
- Opening participle clusters: Three or more VBG (gerund) actions stacked before the main subject ("Unlocking the door, putting on his coat, and walking downstairs, he sighed.")
- "As/while" double-ups: Two or more simultaneous action markers in one sentence with concurrent gerunds.
Why It Matters
This is known as the simultaneous action fallacy — characters can't physically perform multiple complex actions at the exact same instant. Opening participle swarms also weaken prose by delaying the subject and creating a monotonous rhythmic pattern.
What Gets Flagged
| Severity | Example | Why | Suggested Revision |
|---|---|---|---|
| Information | "Unlocking the door, putting on his coat, and walking downstairs, he sighed." | 3 simultaneous -ing actions | "He unlocked the door, put on his coat, and walked downstairs. Then he sighed." |
| Hint | "She smiled as she drank the water as she walked to the door." | 2 "as" simultaneous markers | "She took a sip, smiled, and walked to the door." |
Configuration
No configuration options.
Technical Details
- Source:
prose-craft - Scope: Sentence-level
- Method: VBG counting in sentence-initial position; "as/while" keyword + VBG co-occurrence